Mustache Discrimination? Say it ain’t so…

Growing up a suburban, self-described middle-class, white guy from just south of Cleveland, Ohio, I have absolutely no first hand knowledge of  “discrimination” (oh, and add young in there, too; young is always a hilarious kicker). Because of this, I have, consequently, learned a lot about myself through the media; I’m the “man”, I get to complain about things only if I’m a comic (See: Dennis Leary) or broadcast perpetual, incendiary rants with the hopes that one day I explode in a blaze of glory anger and saturated fats (See: Rush Limbaugh or Trolls).

Woah, woah, made it this far and totally forgot to plug donating…Still undecided about donating?  Look no further; donate to the campaign to rid the world of testicular and prostate cancer right ‘chyeer. —>

Back to thought at hand (you know, being a suburban, middle-class-esque kinda guy…); kind of, but not really at all, like the Ben Folds song (Ben has never wore a mustache to my knowledge, but “Weird” Al Yankovic, who produced this…err…masterpiece, is an avid, if not religious, supporter of the lip sweater):

So while sporting the ‘stache, I thought for sure I’d get at least a wry look or two. I mean with mustache-discrimination running ramped in the media, here and here (special thanks to the American Mustache Institute and their Carl Monday-esque dedication to expose those who trash the ‘stache), I thought for sure I’d be thrown to the wolves; a modern day Tom Selleck struggling through the everyday trials and tribulations, and constantly wondering, “Why did I star in ‘Three Men and a Baby’”.

But truth be told, I’ve been embraced by the majority.  You know, primarily by the folks who remember the ’80s / find great solace in how much I look like their dad / think that mustaches are friggin’ hip / can’t get past the fact that they remember Jesus having a mustache (even though, I’m pretty sure he’s most widely regarded as rocking the beard).

I mean with all this love, who could complain?  Well the support has come at a cost, there has been the occasional naysayer, especially amongst the ranks of my 3.5 readers:

From The McDago: “I think everyone will be happy to see that thing go…let me know when you shave it off so I can make a donation in good conscience.”

• Hate on the mustache, but don’t make it the reason you don’t donate to a friggin’ incredibly worthy cause. I mean c’mon testicular cancer is the most widespread cancer amongst guys 18 – 35…woah, truthiness! (Remember: You can always donate here!)
• Everyone? Really everyone?  I think I speak for at least 19% of American males when I say, “Just because you can’t grow one, doesn’t mean you have to hate one.” (Remember B.U.L.D is a difficult disease, but don’t be afraid of what God gave you…)“

From Murph: “That’s even creepier than the beard. Never trust a man under 40 with a beard has always been my mantra. Not sure what to think about under 30 with a mustache.”

• Really, creepier than the beard? I mean seriously?
• And ageism…crazy, undeniable ageism…

And lastly, from an unnamed and unmentionable source: “I think you kind of look like Handy Andy.”

• Handy Andy? Who?
• That either makes me (according to Wikipedia) a comic strip from Britain, a ’20s Will Rogers movie character, or the creator of my own line of children’s carpentry tools. Either way, awesome. But I prefer not to be stereotyped, thank you, kindly.

All in all it’s been a great learning experience; I’ve been pretty impressed by the tolerance my folks at work have shown, but let’s face it, there are so many great Save-A-Lot owners wearing epic mustaches, it’s in their blood.  I’d like to think we have a culture of the ‘stache at good ‘ol SAL.

Remember, a mustache is a terrible thing to shave…

Peace,

mjb

Photo courtesy of ralphunden’s Photostream on Flickr